Hey, I took the http://dragonhame.com online Inner Dragon quiz and found out I am a Spirit Dragon on the inside.
In the war between good and evil, a Spirit Dragon tends to walk the fine line of Neutrality....
When it comes to the powers of Chaos vs. those of Law and Order, your inner dragon is a risk taker and answers to no one....
As far as magical tendancies, Magical spells come as natural to the Spirit Dragon as breathe from it's body....
During combat situations, a true Spirit Dragon prefers to defeat opponents by the use of spells and other tactics....
The spirit dragon is a true creature of chaos, it is very nomadic and goes wherever it pleases. Due to its non-corporeal nature, a spirit dragon moves freely anywhere and everywhere.'
A spirit dragon is a living mystery. They are barely visible to the naked eye, as their bodies are formed from the ghost-like material of the soul.'
A Spirit Dragon is nearly impossible to harm except by means of powerfully enchanted weapons and magical spells. The spirit dragon has no physical substance and cannot manipulate the physical world without the use of Spells and Magic. However, be warned that this does not mean the spirit dragon is of no consequence. They are masters of magic and take a large part in the happenings of the mortal world around them. They are often seen as puppeteers behind the stage of reality.
'
This Dragons favorite elements are: Soulstone, Hematite, and Wind
http://Dragonhame.Com
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Thursday, October 19, 2006
another opinion
Just me but:
All is One
and One is All
It doesn't matter how you pray
It doesn't matter what you pray
It matters only THAT you pray
Humankind has a inner need for Faith
Faith is what makes us Human's
Be thankful that there is Faith
no matter what the type of Faith it is
All is One
and One is All
It doesn't matter how you pray
It doesn't matter what you pray
It matters only THAT you pray
Humankind has a inner need for Faith
Faith is what makes us Human's
Be thankful that there is Faith
no matter what the type of Faith it is
Monday, August 21, 2006
Sorry for the delay
So I am a big ass loser o.k. I haven't posted NOTHING for almost two months and tons and tons has gone on in my life that should have been put on here. - i'm a loser - nuff said
#1) kid and girlfriend moved out - YEAH - happy naked dance being performed almost constantly - yeah yeah yeah. We can do it on the couch, coffee table, living room floor anywhere we wish tooooooo. O.k. wherever wifey allows us to - it's my fantasy.
#2) youngest got married on july 29th. OMG what a day - what a week - what a month. But she looked gorgeous. Oldest from NC was actually able to come and be one of the bridesmaids too. We had all the grandkids together again. That hasn't happened since Mike passed. Was an enjoyable time and she looked wonderful. Momma was in her glory flirting between tables and guests. She was pretty tired when the receptiong finally ended though. THought we may have some problems come on sunday but she just slept longer. It still took about 3 days for her to get over everything - damn Cancer.
#3) friday the 25th we go in to see the Oncologist and start our last round of chemo. We should find out then what exactly we are facing in the next month. Anxiety is high as we really don't know what the immediate future will bring. But the numbers continue to fall and that has to be a good sign. I work at a college and this is the first time I know of that a "2.0" is a good thing. lol
So in the future I will try to get off my lazy ass and start posting more stuff
I will try but man you should have been there on the porch with me as I debated (with myself) all kinds of stuff these past few weeks - pretty interesting things - bawahahahaha
#1) kid and girlfriend moved out - YEAH - happy naked dance being performed almost constantly - yeah yeah yeah. We can do it on the couch, coffee table, living room floor anywhere we wish tooooooo. O.k. wherever wifey allows us to - it's my fantasy.
#2) youngest got married on july 29th. OMG what a day - what a week - what a month. But she looked gorgeous. Oldest from NC was actually able to come and be one of the bridesmaids too. We had all the grandkids together again. That hasn't happened since Mike passed. Was an enjoyable time and she looked wonderful. Momma was in her glory flirting between tables and guests. She was pretty tired when the receptiong finally ended though. THought we may have some problems come on sunday but she just slept longer. It still took about 3 days for her to get over everything - damn Cancer.
#3) friday the 25th we go in to see the Oncologist and start our last round of chemo. We should find out then what exactly we are facing in the next month. Anxiety is high as we really don't know what the immediate future will bring. But the numbers continue to fall and that has to be a good sign. I work at a college and this is the first time I know of that a "2.0" is a good thing. lol
So in the future I will try to get off my lazy ass and start posting more stuff
I will try but man you should have been there on the porch with me as I debated (with myself) all kinds of stuff these past few weeks - pretty interesting things - bawahahahaha
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
My opinion
This is posted and writen on this blog - as such this is MY OPINION - period - a big fat fucken period - o.k. Got it?? My opinion!!
Right now does it really matter how and why we went into Iraq and afghanistan. Does it really matter NOW that there "could" have been a deception or lies. Does it????
I say no - not now it don't. Not when our husbands, fathers, sons, mothers, wifes, and daughters are fighting and have died there. We need to give them the support - we need to stand beside them - while they are putting their lives on the line. Then - when they are out of harms way - then is the time to question and bring to justice the wrong or right of this war.
Right now does it really matter how and why we went into Iraq and afghanistan. Does it really matter NOW that there "could" have been a deception or lies. Does it????
I say no - not now it don't. Not when our husbands, fathers, sons, mothers, wifes, and daughters are fighting and have died there. We need to give them the support - we need to stand beside them - while they are putting their lives on the line. Then - when they are out of harms way - then is the time to question and bring to justice the wrong or right of this war.
not holding my breath
Now, maybe it is too soon to say anything and as such will be jinxing myself. BUT - I do mean BUT - seems the little children are not sleeping on our couch anymore. Well, they haven't for about a week now anyway. YYYYYEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH
Throwing a Happy Naked Dance at the house tonight - no body is invited so don't even think about coming over - bawahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
besides which - why would you want to see me naked - you pervert or something - huh huh huh - what is wrong with you ???? Oh wait, you would rather see the wifey huh - yeah can understand that one - she does have some nice boobs don't she. Yep, she does too and they are all mine mine mine - ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Throwing a Happy Naked Dance at the house tonight - no body is invited so don't even think about coming over - bawahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
besides which - why would you want to see me naked - you pervert or something - huh huh huh - what is wrong with you ???? Oh wait, you would rather see the wifey huh - yeah can understand that one - she does have some nice boobs don't she. Yep, she does too and they are all mine mine mine - ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Friday, July 07, 2006
Oh man
Oh where do I start - where do I start?????
I can not fathom how these people talk about some of those conspiracy theories that are floating out there. I mean, come on, a take over the world plan that has been going on for hundreds if not thousands of years. All the federal governments are all run by a secret organization that have world dominance on their mind?????
DISCLAIMER: these are just my theories - my thoughts - my conjectures - as such it is my fault I am saying these. Hey - you can believe or disbelieve how ever you like. I won't site you for not listening to me - bawahahahaha
Figure this #1 - yeah right, do you believe in the same things your mom and dad believed in?? Do we hold the same values?? Can you truthfully say that you totally believe in what your parents thought??? Soooooo, think of the number of generations that this conspiracy has been believed in for so many years??? All those kids thinking just like their mommy and daddies - yeah right - uh huh.
Figure this #2 - lets take a look at the true die-hard anti-government people that lived in this country - the hippies. Now how many of them believe in any of this?? How many believe that it is the fault of the Illuminati that this world is in the shape that we are in?
Figure this #3 - what about when the black plague hit? Now would it have not been simple to take over the world then??? If they had all this technology then, like the flying saucers to fly between the planets etc., wouldn't they have enough technology to take over then. Since they were already in charge, they could have easily controlled the population to take complete control of the world and hence be in charge now. Consider that one of the things they are going for is to eliminate most of the population. Why not then when most of the population had died already??
Logically most of the theories do not stand up. They simply do not - for me - logically add up. Two plus three do not add up to four. I do believe in some of the stuff dad believed in, but there is many things I do not believe in that he did. Soooooooo?????
and another thing - there wasn't a second shooter from the Grassy Noll. Syran syran or however you spell his name acted alone and John Wilkes booth was a disenchanted actor. Oh yeah, we DID walk on the moon. Sorry, just don't add up.
I can not fathom how these people talk about some of those conspiracy theories that are floating out there. I mean, come on, a take over the world plan that has been going on for hundreds if not thousands of years. All the federal governments are all run by a secret organization that have world dominance on their mind?????
DISCLAIMER: these are just my theories - my thoughts - my conjectures - as such it is my fault I am saying these. Hey - you can believe or disbelieve how ever you like. I won't site you for not listening to me - bawahahahaha
Figure this #1 - yeah right, do you believe in the same things your mom and dad believed in?? Do we hold the same values?? Can you truthfully say that you totally believe in what your parents thought??? Soooooo, think of the number of generations that this conspiracy has been believed in for so many years??? All those kids thinking just like their mommy and daddies - yeah right - uh huh.
Figure this #2 - lets take a look at the true die-hard anti-government people that lived in this country - the hippies. Now how many of them believe in any of this?? How many believe that it is the fault of the Illuminati that this world is in the shape that we are in?
Figure this #3 - what about when the black plague hit? Now would it have not been simple to take over the world then??? If they had all this technology then, like the flying saucers to fly between the planets etc., wouldn't they have enough technology to take over then. Since they were already in charge, they could have easily controlled the population to take complete control of the world and hence be in charge now. Consider that one of the things they are going for is to eliminate most of the population. Why not then when most of the population had died already??
Logically most of the theories do not stand up. They simply do not - for me - logically add up. Two plus three do not add up to four. I do believe in some of the stuff dad believed in, but there is many things I do not believe in that he did. Soooooooo?????
and another thing - there wasn't a second shooter from the Grassy Noll. Syran syran or however you spell his name acted alone and John Wilkes booth was a disenchanted actor. Oh yeah, we DID walk on the moon. Sorry, just don't add up.
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Holiday
ON HOLIDAY
We went on a holiday the last couple of days. Took the wife to Princeton to check out some of the stores and then stayed in a motel. It had a whirlpool in the room. YEAH. Without getting to racy it was nice - real nice.
Anyway, I like the word HOLIDAY. Actually I like the way the British use it
Per Dictionary.com:
hol·i·day n.
Remember doing a ROAD TRIP when you were younger. Yeah i remember a few of those trips. Get a 12 pack and cruise the back roads until we were either finished with them or done drinking.
Anyway, we ran into a group of 4 lady's in the Good Scents store there. Seems this lady and her sister had breast cancer and went through chemo like wifey. They talked about some "Chemo Soap" that a store in Oregon Illinois sold. Going to check them out and see what we can find out. Will let you know the outcome as soon as I can.
Well I was going to tell you this story. We were getting ready to leave and well - you know how it is - didn't get everything done. There were some dishes in the sink and I didn't sweep the floor. Wifey got mad cause I didn't do the dishes and was willing to walk out. She is right that they would have molded etc by the time we got back. I figured that since kid and fiance was staying here that "maybe" they would get the hint and do them.
I did them but wasn't happy about it. She is right that at least they were out of the way and didn't have to worry about them yada yada yada. We leave, get to the motel, unpack and jump into the whirlpool - yeah baby felt good. Anyway, we cruised around on Monday and then vegged for awhile getting up today to come home.
We get home and yep the house is trashed. Dirty dishes in the stove, on the stove, on the counters and in the sink. Floor needs swept and the grass needs mowed. Even the garbage cans needed picked up OUT of the street and put back by the garage. GGGrrrrrrr
Took me until 6 to wash dishes, fix dinner and then wash what we used. Picked up the garbage cans while I was bringing in the suitcases etc from the car. Kid went to band practice and fiance left to go to her house.
Good Thing - Good Thing
But anyway, we had a great time - wonderful time actually and do not think that the "gift" we received when we arrived home is going to put a damper on our "Holiday" we just took. Quite the contrary - while we were On Holiday - we had a blast.
And the whirlpool - it was nice - real nice - oh and watch the amount of Bath Bubbles you put in a whirlpool or they just might end up all over the place - and I do mean ALL OVER THE PLACE.
We went on a holiday the last couple of days. Took the wife to Princeton to check out some of the stores and then stayed in a motel. It had a whirlpool in the room. YEAH. Without getting to racy it was nice - real nice.
Anyway, I like the word HOLIDAY. Actually I like the way the British use it
Per Dictionary.com:
hol·i·day n.
- A day free from work that one may spend at leisure, especially a day on which custom or the law dictates a halting of general business activity to commemorate or celebrate a particular event.
- A religious feast day; a holy day.
- Chiefly British. A vacation. Often used in the phrase on holiday.
- To pass a holiday or vacation.
Remember doing a ROAD TRIP when you were younger. Yeah i remember a few of those trips. Get a 12 pack and cruise the back roads until we were either finished with them or done drinking.
Anyway, we ran into a group of 4 lady's in the Good Scents store there. Seems this lady and her sister had breast cancer and went through chemo like wifey. They talked about some "Chemo Soap" that a store in Oregon Illinois sold. Going to check them out and see what we can find out. Will let you know the outcome as soon as I can.
Well I was going to tell you this story. We were getting ready to leave and well - you know how it is - didn't get everything done. There were some dishes in the sink and I didn't sweep the floor. Wifey got mad cause I didn't do the dishes and was willing to walk out. She is right that they would have molded etc by the time we got back. I figured that since kid and fiance was staying here that "maybe" they would get the hint and do them.
I did them but wasn't happy about it. She is right that at least they were out of the way and didn't have to worry about them yada yada yada. We leave, get to the motel, unpack and jump into the whirlpool - yeah baby felt good. Anyway, we cruised around on Monday and then vegged for awhile getting up today to come home.
We get home and yep the house is trashed. Dirty dishes in the stove, on the stove, on the counters and in the sink. Floor needs swept and the grass needs mowed. Even the garbage cans needed picked up OUT of the street and put back by the garage. GGGrrrrrrr
Took me until 6 to wash dishes, fix dinner and then wash what we used. Picked up the garbage cans while I was bringing in the suitcases etc from the car. Kid went to band practice and fiance left to go to her house.
Good Thing - Good Thing
But anyway, we had a great time - wonderful time actually and do not think that the "gift" we received when we arrived home is going to put a damper on our "Holiday" we just took. Quite the contrary - while we were On Holiday - we had a blast.
And the whirlpool - it was nice - real nice - oh and watch the amount of Bath Bubbles you put in a whirlpool or they just might end up all over the place - and I do mean ALL OVER THE PLACE.
Saturday, June 17, 2006
Fathers Day
Happy Father's Day to all the Fathers in the world. Remember, anybody can father a baby, but it takes a special someone to be a Daddy. Strive to be a daddy to all.
Solstice
O.k. so what are you doing for solstice this year????? Let us give thanks for all that you have gotten this half of the Sol Year. At 8:00 or sometime before sundown, light a candle. Save some portion of your dinner. Say some appropriate words to your Divine. Then meditate and connect with the sun and what that means to you. What the sun's rays have given you this year, what the suns rays will give you for the rest of the year. Be thankful for what has been graced unto thee.
Yes, we should be thankful that the wife's cancer was detected when it was and that is a thankful thing.
When you are finished meditating, take the leftovers from dinner and give them to the spirit world. Preferable in a special garden spot or under a favorite tree. Say your blessings as you place the food down
Keep the candle lit until 10:00
Pleasant Dreams
Yes, we should be thankful that the wife's cancer was detected when it was and that is a thankful thing.
When you are finished meditating, take the leftovers from dinner and give them to the spirit world. Preferable in a special garden spot or under a favorite tree. Say your blessings as you place the food down
Keep the candle lit until 10:00
Pleasant Dreams
Thursday, June 15, 2006
what would you do
I got this email from a friend asking me to check out his latest writing for "readability" is about the only way I can put it. Actually I was very honored by his request. I hope he "enjoyed" my corrections bawahahahahaha
If you knew me, you would know how true that is. My favorite saying is that it is "My English, and as such, I will butcher it anyway I see fit." I do it rather well too I might say. I've been told that my word usage is quite unique. I take that as a compliment.
I've been muddling something for a few days. I watched the latest Dr. Who show on SciFi and in it the good Doctor had to choose between killing/destroying Mankind and the Daleks or not. He couldn't pull it off, he couldn't push the button. I wonder how many people could actually do it.
Oh it is easy sitting in front of your computer and reading this post to make that decision. It is entirely different story when you are holding the trigger.
If you knew me, you would know how true that is. My favorite saying is that it is "My English, and as such, I will butcher it anyway I see fit." I do it rather well too I might say. I've been told that my word usage is quite unique. I take that as a compliment.
I've been muddling something for a few days. I watched the latest Dr. Who show on SciFi and in it the good Doctor had to choose between killing/destroying Mankind and the Daleks or not. He couldn't pull it off, he couldn't push the button. I wonder how many people could actually do it.
Oh it is easy sitting in front of your computer and reading this post to make that decision. It is entirely different story when you are holding the trigger.
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
good morning
Well it is another day - another wednesday- and I am beat up tired. Think between going to bed late and wifey not sleeping well, I'm not getting a very good restful sleep. If I can just get through the next couple of days then I am going on vacation for 2 whole weeks - YEAH!!!!!
Over heard the kid and Fiance talking last night - think they are planning on staying until september now. Guess they are thinking now about buying the house next door from our other son. Sooooooooo you know what that means, right?? Yeah, still no Naked Happy Dance - dangit
Over heard the kid and Fiance talking last night - think they are planning on staying until september now. Guess they are thinking now about buying the house next door from our other son. Sooooooooo you know what that means, right?? Yeah, still no Naked Happy Dance - dangit
Sunday, June 11, 2006
uh oh
Well I started a bog about my wifes cancer. The link will be added to the side bar. But if you want to check it out here is the weblink
http://rogers-cancer-trip.blogspot.com/
our friend Dee has started her own blog. Here is the link to that one
http://cancertrip-dee.blogspot.com/
good luck Jerry and Dee. May the grace be given unto thee
Albion
http://rogers-cancer-trip.blogspot.com/
our friend Dee has started her own blog. Here is the link to that one
http://cancertrip-dee.blogspot.com/
good luck Jerry and Dee. May the grace be given unto thee
Albion
A link
A friend of mine has started a blog. I'm looking forward to his posts. Now to say this "dude" is a friend is a definite understatement. Much more than that - much more than that.
http://ajourneyoftheheart.blogspot.com/
It's funny how you can meet someone and feel this "link" - connection or something like that. I have "felt" when things have been troubling him. Don't ask me to explain, only the people who know about that would completely understand, but for some reason, I can tell.
Jimbob is another person who I feel this connection too. For good or bad and I haven't figured that one out yet. Don't understand what it is that I am suppose to do for him though, but that, I am hoping, will become clear to me in the near future. I hope anyway, for I fear that the moment that I could have helped him may have passed.
I will go light a candle for my friends:
Rick - for good writings and good posting - may your pen serve you well
Jimbob - for the future - prosperity of the heart and soul and all that it entails
http://ajourneyoftheheart.blogspot.com/
It's funny how you can meet someone and feel this "link" - connection or something like that. I have "felt" when things have been troubling him. Don't ask me to explain, only the people who know about that would completely understand, but for some reason, I can tell.
Jimbob is another person who I feel this connection too. For good or bad and I haven't figured that one out yet. Don't understand what it is that I am suppose to do for him though, but that, I am hoping, will become clear to me in the near future. I hope anyway, for I fear that the moment that I could have helped him may have passed.
I will go light a candle for my friends:
Rick - for good writings and good posting - may your pen serve you well
Jimbob - for the future - prosperity of the heart and soul and all that it entails
another rambling
well Mom come over last saturday afternoon and informed us that the Family Reunion is this coming sunday (today). How can I put this to you delicately mom that I dont' think I will be able to take you this year. MMMMM she didn't like what I told her. Now remember the earlier posts about her?? How if she hears something she does not like she just ignores you or talks about something completely different? Well this time she just stared off into space and just sat there. Oh she is really upset.
"Well I wasn't sure if this is a "off week" for the chemo or if pam would feel like going to Indiana. But you know, a person should try to make as many of these as they can cause they just don't know how many they will be going to. Then the people who are there will be able to visit with you etc. etc. etc."
Now, is she talking about the mortality of Pam because of the cancer or is she talking about her mortality?? Considering that in the past 5 years she has lost her mother, husband, brother-in-law, sister-in-law, brother, grandson and her daughter-in-law has been diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer, she might be feeling a bit mortal lately. She has been pretty sickly these past few weeks too. Although I do think she ate something bad for her a couple of weeks ago that is still affecting her. (she has a habit of "keeping" things a bit too long in the frig if you know what I mean)
Well mom I could possibly run you to Indiana and back on sunday but I really don't want to leave pammy home alone for the 7 hour trip there and 7 hour trip back. Lets call Kiddo (sister) and see what she has cooking? That was a sign of relief for her and so I called kiddo later that day. Yep she agreed to take her - problem solved.
Not really, Kiddo wanted to run to Indianopolis on friday and see the Childrens Museum with the Little Kiddo and then go to the aunts house to stay and visit then head to the reunion on sunday. Oh did mom NOT like that prospect of leaving on friday and spending 3 whole days away from home. We still do not know what is going on in her little head but they ended up not going. mom came down with some mysterious illness on friday and stayed home the whole weekend. No "vacation" from the mom - bummer.
Rotten kids are still here too for that matter - still no Nakked Happy dance happening at the house - oh but when they are gone - oooooohhhhhhhh baby
"Well I wasn't sure if this is a "off week" for the chemo or if pam would feel like going to Indiana. But you know, a person should try to make as many of these as they can cause they just don't know how many they will be going to. Then the people who are there will be able to visit with you etc. etc. etc."
Now, is she talking about the mortality of Pam because of the cancer or is she talking about her mortality?? Considering that in the past 5 years she has lost her mother, husband, brother-in-law, sister-in-law, brother, grandson and her daughter-in-law has been diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer, she might be feeling a bit mortal lately. She has been pretty sickly these past few weeks too. Although I do think she ate something bad for her a couple of weeks ago that is still affecting her. (she has a habit of "keeping" things a bit too long in the frig if you know what I mean)
Well mom I could possibly run you to Indiana and back on sunday but I really don't want to leave pammy home alone for the 7 hour trip there and 7 hour trip back. Lets call Kiddo (sister) and see what she has cooking? That was a sign of relief for her and so I called kiddo later that day. Yep she agreed to take her - problem solved.
Not really, Kiddo wanted to run to Indianopolis on friday and see the Childrens Museum with the Little Kiddo and then go to the aunts house to stay and visit then head to the reunion on sunday. Oh did mom NOT like that prospect of leaving on friday and spending 3 whole days away from home. We still do not know what is going on in her little head but they ended up not going. mom came down with some mysterious illness on friday and stayed home the whole weekend. No "vacation" from the mom - bummer.
Rotten kids are still here too for that matter - still no Nakked Happy dance happening at the house - oh but when they are gone - oooooohhhhhhhh baby
Saturday, June 03, 2006
Good News
Forgot to mention that we had a doctors appointment on wednesday this week before chemo. They did another one of those CA125 tests. The numbers are down to 13.1 - YEAH!!!!!
On another note - the kid and fiance slept here last night - no naked happy dance yet (big sigh)
On another note - the kid and fiance slept here last night - no naked happy dance yet (big sigh)
Thursday, June 01, 2006
should I hold my breath
Kid came home last night and announced that tonight will be the last night they sleep in the house. I heard from the kitchen the "fiance" holler "NO." He walked in and they had some type of discussion for quite some time. I don't know what was resolved but something was. Ah well one more day before I can walk around naked in the house - maybe.........
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
yeah me
Oh happy happy joy joy guess what guess what
No, you gotta guess (happy happy joy joy)
Yep, got a new computer - whooooo hoooooooo
160 hard drive - yeah baby yeah
got lots of room to put all kinds of stuff on it.
Anyway, we went and bought a new computer last thursday night. Walked in, looked at a couple of models and decided upon the one we got all within about 15 minutes. Out the door we went with this new compaq. Yeah baby.
Got home and took me about 4 hours to get it all setup just perfectly. Got the old one on the front porch waiting for me and son to canabalize it and put it into the fiance's old computer. Should give them a decent little machine and I got the new one WITHOUT the son and fiance on it - super-duper YEAH!!!!!
it's been awhile since we bought a new one. Probably close to 10 years ago. Well IBM 486 running at 35 mx was the last "new" one. We bought the toshiba refurbished for around a three hundred (give or take). The IBM was about 3 times as much as the new Compaq. Talk about a difference in price. I remember setting-up the IBM the first time and after every restore. Took a long time. This compaq took me 3 days to finally get the shit all straight and narrow. To many programs needing "Benchmarks" etc. Pain in the arsp.
Installed the old hard drive into the new computer and found all kinds of file errors from the meltdown. Funny how some stuff was lost but some stuff was saved. A lot of pictures and stuff are gone. None of the programs on the old hard drive will transfer over or run. I do think that most of the coven and pagan stuff is saved though. Golly I hope so. Hate to try to rebuild all that stuff. That Coven CD Book of Shadows would be a really big pain.
But I got a new computer - YEAH
I so love the Family Finance Manager
Yeah I'm cheap
a little food, some coffee, a bit of sex and a nice present once in a while
yep I'm cheap
No, you gotta guess (happy happy joy joy)
Yep, got a new computer - whooooo hoooooooo
160 hard drive - yeah baby yeah
got lots of room to put all kinds of stuff on it.
Anyway, we went and bought a new computer last thursday night. Walked in, looked at a couple of models and decided upon the one we got all within about 15 minutes. Out the door we went with this new compaq. Yeah baby.
Got home and took me about 4 hours to get it all setup just perfectly. Got the old one on the front porch waiting for me and son to canabalize it and put it into the fiance's old computer. Should give them a decent little machine and I got the new one WITHOUT the son and fiance on it - super-duper YEAH!!!!!
it's been awhile since we bought a new one. Probably close to 10 years ago. Well IBM 486 running at 35 mx was the last "new" one. We bought the toshiba refurbished for around a three hundred (give or take). The IBM was about 3 times as much as the new Compaq. Talk about a difference in price. I remember setting-up the IBM the first time and after every restore. Took a long time. This compaq took me 3 days to finally get the shit all straight and narrow. To many programs needing "Benchmarks" etc. Pain in the arsp.
Installed the old hard drive into the new computer and found all kinds of file errors from the meltdown. Funny how some stuff was lost but some stuff was saved. A lot of pictures and stuff are gone. None of the programs on the old hard drive will transfer over or run. I do think that most of the coven and pagan stuff is saved though. Golly I hope so. Hate to try to rebuild all that stuff. That Coven CD Book of Shadows would be a really big pain.
But I got a new computer - YEAH
I so love the Family Finance Manager
Yeah I'm cheap
a little food, some coffee, a bit of sex and a nice present once in a while
yep I'm cheap
Monday, May 29, 2006
remembering
well it is monday morning or sunday night actually since I haven't gone to bed yet. Late at night - usually when i do my mind wandering thoughts. I got to thinking about what would happen if things didn't work out with this cancer stuff. I was talking to UhOh on the IM tonight and she was in a bummer mood. We talked and I hope she feels better about things. We talked about going to the cancer support group meeting in the area and stuff like that.
Later she logged off and went to bed. Well I went onto the porch to smoke a cigarette (and yes a hitter too) and got to thinking about pammy and things. Well things went to thinking about Michael and stuff. Once again I argued with the Phantoms about all of that. What kind of a father would I be if I did not even consider that I could have played some instrument of preventing his death. What type of father would just shrug his shoulders and say "Not my fault?" What I say what????
There was that month. That whole month where I knew what was going on and I choosed to do nothing. There were years that I attempted to stop his drug use, but was I affective? No, not in the least. Yes, I could have been more persuasive. I could have coralled him down a bit and tried to get him to listen to reason. But did I figure out what exactly could I have done???? Besides taking a 2x4 to his head, I never figured out what to do. Did I used the 2x4 - a big fat NO.
Maybe that is what is driving me to do what I can for Pammy. That maybe, through my work, she can save the energy to beat this Ovarian Cancer. Odds are not favorable, BUT there is a 40 percent chance. Those are pretty good odds in my house. Now we play Bennett Ball!!!
I love you Ohdee - I sure wish you didn't have to go through all this.
Later she logged off and went to bed. Well I went onto the porch to smoke a cigarette (and yes a hitter too) and got to thinking about pammy and things. Well things went to thinking about Michael and stuff. Once again I argued with the Phantoms about all of that. What kind of a father would I be if I did not even consider that I could have played some instrument of preventing his death. What type of father would just shrug his shoulders and say "Not my fault?" What I say what????
There was that month. That whole month where I knew what was going on and I choosed to do nothing. There were years that I attempted to stop his drug use, but was I affective? No, not in the least. Yes, I could have been more persuasive. I could have coralled him down a bit and tried to get him to listen to reason. But did I figure out what exactly could I have done???? Besides taking a 2x4 to his head, I never figured out what to do. Did I used the 2x4 - a big fat NO.
Maybe that is what is driving me to do what I can for Pammy. That maybe, through my work, she can save the energy to beat this Ovarian Cancer. Odds are not favorable, BUT there is a 40 percent chance. Those are pretty good odds in my house. Now we play Bennett Ball!!!
I love you Ohdee - I sure wish you didn't have to go through all this.
Monday, May 22, 2006
Aaaarrgghhhh
I'm not handling this very well. No matter how many times I go over the details, life has totally turned for the worst. I am truly not sure if I can continue to handle this tragedy that has come to plague my life. Yes, I know I know- things always look blacker before the dawn but still many of you will sympathize with me. Specially if you know me and know what happened Saturday morning has so devastated me so deeply.
My "Baby" - my sweet and innocent little baby - her - her - motherboard melted. Yes, yes yes - I know - I know - how, you ask, am I managing. It is hard. The wife went to turn the computer on Saturday morning and it just sat there. Like a big old paperweight on a desk - sat there. No bells, no beeps, no lights - NOTHING!!!! It is dead to the world. I took the side off and through trial-n-error figured out the cpu cooling fan stopped working. Plugging it into another outlet though, gets plenty of breeze from it. So that part of the motherboard's circuits are bad. Not good Not good. Some how, I just know I can blame this on the kid - it's all his fault - he is the one who is downloading all the smut pictures (oh baby you should see some of them whoa hoo) and music junk. Spyware and spamware all over the computer if it wasn't for my diligent work keeping the junk off the computer.
So, now I am in negotiations with the Family Finance Manager to see what exactly this household can afford (and I am allowed to purchase). I'm leaning towards a new laptop but would settle for a new motherboard. Don't want to push it too much you know. LOL
Anyway, my weekend was shot right from the get go. Not only did the computer take a dive, but we got a new bed Friday night and the coffee pot was retired (not by me). Oh yeah, we "thought" the kid was moving out this weekend but no, decided that maybe next weekend will be the move out weekend. Man, not sure if I can handle any more of these type of weekends. :-/
My "Baby" - my sweet and innocent little baby - her - her -
So, now I am in negotiations with the Family Finance Manager to see what exactly this household can afford (and I am allowed to purchase). I'm leaning towards a new laptop but would settle for a new motherboard. Don't want to push it too much you know. LOL
Anyway, my weekend was shot right from the get go. Not only did the computer take a dive, but we got a new bed Friday night and the coffee pot was retired (not by me). Oh yeah, we "thought" the kid was moving out this weekend but no, decided that maybe next weekend will be the move out weekend. Man, not sure if I can handle any more of these type of weekends. :-/
Thursday, May 18, 2006
words
I received an email from a good friend last night. Reading his email, the words he had typed in it, had a profound affect on me. His words made me laugh outloud, cry deeply, and then felt wonderfully warm inside. Isn't it amazing what simple words placed in a specific order on a piece of paper will do to a person. How those words, formed by one human being, manipulated and scribed, will cause such profound effect upon another human being. His words touched deeply to my soul as I felt those words he wrote. I'm not sure he intended for the effect they had on me, but he did know they would touch me. He knew, when writing them, that they would touch me, but I do not think he realized how deeply they would.
For that, for his friendship, I am grateful.
For that, for his friendship, I am grateful.
Thursday, May 11, 2006
lots of things
Well lots of things has happened since the last posting. I turned 50 YEAH!!!! I finally made it. Not sure how good that is or not but here I am.
Pam had her surgery and it well very good. We are currently taking Chemo therapy and she is on her second round. She has 3 weeks of chemo and then a week off, then we start it all over again. They did some type of blood test and the doctor was telling us that the count before surgery was in excess of 3000, after surgery but before chemo started she was at 330. After 3 weeks of chemo it was down to 37.1 - another YEAH!!!
She started losing her hair two weeks ago. You should have heard her on the phone when she called. I could tell she was close to crying. I can't tell you how that tore me up. All this is taking its toll on her though. My once smart and bright wife has changed. The painkillers has turned her loopy, not to mention the poison that is coursing through her body. My once independant wife has become very dependant upon me for everything. All of it is just dragging her down. Not to mention what it is doing to me as I watch her go through all this.
We have some friends who are going through about the same thing as we are. The husband has Lung cancer and the wife is the caregiver. We have known them a very long time and have been good friends with them. We were very close and used to bowl and hang out and do all kinds of stuff together. We moved and kinda went our separate ways for awhile. My heart goes out to them.
I can't explain how I feel as I watch these two vibrant independant people get taken down to their knees by this blackness. I feel so helpless standing back watching as they go through all this.
I am the oldest son, the big brother, the lover, the daddy, the knight in shining armor that is suppose to fix all the wrongs. How can I fix this? What can I do? My sword is not sharp enough, my armor is not thick enough, my magic is not good enough. I want to reach out and take her in my arms and hold her, take this blackness away, this darkness that has engulfed each of our lives.
The feelings that I have, I can not share. There is nobody that will understand. Nobody will. How can I hold these feelings? I want so much to take her into my arms and rock her until the hurt is gone. Until the darkness has left. All I can do is stand back and watch.
and the tears well up and I cry inside
Pam had her surgery and it well very good. We are currently taking Chemo therapy and she is on her second round. She has 3 weeks of chemo and then a week off, then we start it all over again. They did some type of blood test and the doctor was telling us that the count before surgery was in excess of 3000, after surgery but before chemo started she was at 330. After 3 weeks of chemo it was down to 37.1 - another YEAH!!!
She started losing her hair two weeks ago. You should have heard her on the phone when she called. I could tell she was close to crying. I can't tell you how that tore me up. All this is taking its toll on her though. My once smart and bright wife has changed. The painkillers has turned her loopy, not to mention the poison that is coursing through her body. My once independant wife has become very dependant upon me for everything. All of it is just dragging her down. Not to mention what it is doing to me as I watch her go through all this.
We have some friends who are going through about the same thing as we are. The husband has Lung cancer and the wife is the caregiver. We have known them a very long time and have been good friends with them. We were very close and used to bowl and hang out and do all kinds of stuff together. We moved and kinda went our separate ways for awhile. My heart goes out to them.
I can't explain how I feel as I watch these two vibrant independant people get taken down to their knees by this blackness. I feel so helpless standing back watching as they go through all this.
I am the oldest son, the big brother, the lover, the daddy, the knight in shining armor that is suppose to fix all the wrongs. How can I fix this? What can I do? My sword is not sharp enough, my armor is not thick enough, my magic is not good enough. I want to reach out and take her in my arms and hold her, take this blackness away, this darkness that has engulfed each of our lives.
The feelings that I have, I can not share. There is nobody that will understand. Nobody will. How can I hold these feelings? I want so much to take her into my arms and rock her until the hurt is gone. Until the darkness has left. All I can do is stand back and watch.
and the tears well up and I cry inside
Sunday, March 26, 2006
Ovarian Cancer
A lot has happened since the last I posted here. My wife was having some health problems and had gone to the doctor a few times. Ran some tests etc. and did a sonigram. Found that her Gall Bladder was enlarged and was full of thick mucus. So they decided to operate and remove the gall bladder. When they started the operation they fond that it wasn't just the gall bladder that was causing her the sickness and pains. She had ovarian cancer.
I can not tell you the feelings I had the day the surgeon came and told me about it. He told me that I should wait until the next day to tell Pam though. He set a appointment for the next day and in about an hour Pam came to the recovery room. That day and night was the longest I have ever lived. I finally told her all about it while we were driving to the doctor appointment. At least I gave her one more day without knowing - one more happy day.
The doctor said that through sugery we could get the bulk of the mass out and then chemotherapy should put it all into remission. He didn't give us months but said that we should have years still.
The surgery went well and they did get most of the cancer removed. The surgeon said that there was sand sized spots here and there but that it should be taken care of with the chemo. I am sure hoping so. We go back to the cancer specialist on April 7th. I don't know what the future holds now but it will definently be different that what we had planned.
I can not tell you the feelings I had the day the surgeon came and told me about it. He told me that I should wait until the next day to tell Pam though. He set a appointment for the next day and in about an hour Pam came to the recovery room. That day and night was the longest I have ever lived. I finally told her all about it while we were driving to the doctor appointment. At least I gave her one more day without knowing - one more happy day.
The doctor said that through sugery we could get the bulk of the mass out and then chemotherapy should put it all into remission. He didn't give us months but said that we should have years still.
The surgery went well and they did get most of the cancer removed. The surgeon said that there was sand sized spots here and there but that it should be taken care of with the chemo. I am sure hoping so. We go back to the cancer specialist on April 7th. I don't know what the future holds now but it will definently be different that what we had planned.
Monday, February 06, 2006
stupid stuff
So, I am still getting stupid stuff in the comments section. Ah well, things like that will happen. Oh did you hear the latest thing in new Conspiracy Theory's of the Detrimental type. There is a Photon Belt coming to Earth. We are about to pass through this "Photon Belt." It comes around every so many thousand years. Don't remember exactly when now. But it will just about tear this planet apart. OMG
Yeah, well your cell phone, computers, anything electronic will shut down. The winds will triple in strength, climatic disturbances, earthquakes, tidal waves, pole shifting. Yeah just about EVERYTHING is going to happen. Can you say SHIT HIT THE FAN???
Anyway, if you take a second and REALLY check the story out.......come to find out two college kids in a science class during the early 80's decided to see if they could rock the boot with a Climate Catastrophy story. They need to do a thesis and they used this idea for that. The first part of the paper was how they would have it published etc. The second half illustrated the thoughts and information for the basis of the Photon Belt. When they turned the paper into their professor he only gave them a C because it wasn't published yet. Said if they could get a paper to run with it then they might get an A. Two weeks later it was picked up by some of the "World is coming to an end" guys and they ran with it. The kids got an A.
Seems, there isn't anything closely resembling a Photon Belt out in space. One of the two kids who dreamed up the story was a big Star Trek fan (gotta love this part) and loved to hear Captain Kirk tell Sulu "Fire Photon Torpedo's" Sooooooo, Hence, Photon Belt.
Hey mr. reptilian council dude - did you read this??????? You might get another book out of this theory
Yeah, well your cell phone, computers, anything electronic will shut down. The winds will triple in strength, climatic disturbances, earthquakes, tidal waves, pole shifting. Yeah just about EVERYTHING is going to happen. Can you say SHIT HIT THE FAN???
Anyway, if you take a second and REALLY check the story out.......come to find out two college kids in a science class during the early 80's decided to see if they could rock the boot with a Climate Catastrophy story. They need to do a thesis and they used this idea for that. The first part of the paper was how they would have it published etc. The second half illustrated the thoughts and information for the basis of the Photon Belt. When they turned the paper into their professor he only gave them a C because it wasn't published yet. Said if they could get a paper to run with it then they might get an A. Two weeks later it was picked up by some of the "World is coming to an end" guys and they ran with it. The kids got an A.
Seems, there isn't anything closely resembling a Photon Belt out in space. One of the two kids who dreamed up the story was a big Star Trek fan (gotta love this part) and loved to hear Captain Kirk tell Sulu "Fire Photon Torpedo's" Sooooooo, Hence, Photon Belt.
Hey mr. reptilian council dude - did you read this??????? You might get another book out of this theory
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
A son remembered
They came running in
On that warm summer’s day
Asking if they could have a treat
Just one small cookie please
They followed me to the cookie jar
Waiting for their sweets
The eldest, a girl about 6
Held up a hand for hers
then waited for the others
The middle child - a boy
Was to receive his share
Took the cookie held out to him
and off he went to play
The last was also the youngest
just a little boy
held his right hand up
And received his cookie so
Then swiftly he took his hand
And hid it behind his back
With such a forlorn look upon his face
He held his other hand up
Oh he put on a very good act
As if he hadn’t received one
How could a father resist
Such a pitiful look from him
So melt did my heart
That I gave him his second treat
On that warm summer’s day
Asking if they could have a treat
Just one small cookie please
They followed me to the cookie jar
Waiting for their sweets
The eldest, a girl about 6
Held up a hand for hers
then waited for the others
The middle child - a boy
Was to receive his share
Took the cookie held out to him
and off he went to play
The last was also the youngest
just a little boy
held his right hand up
And received his cookie so
Then swiftly he took his hand
And hid it behind his back
With such a forlorn look upon his face
He held his other hand up
Oh he put on a very good act
As if he hadn’t received one
How could a father resist
Such a pitiful look from him
So melt did my heart
That I gave him his second treat
This is one of the many memories I will remember of my son Michael. Saturday, January 21st. will mark a year since he walked this path. If you so desire, join with us and light an orange candle Saturday afternoon as his family remembers him.
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